Give yourself the thing that you need the most from others
17th November 2021
What if we could give ourselves most of the things we crave emotionally? We don’t tend to think about emotional needs as something we can attend to ourselves but if we stop and think for a moment we’ll find that we truly can be our own best friend.
We’re complex beings, our emotions run like and ebb and flow constantly throughout the day and we have little control over it. Because of this, sometimes we can feel overwhelmed or out of control and we’ve been taught to look outwards for solutions. But there’s a beautiful quality to turn this idea on its head and to always look inward to fulfil our needs. This way no only can we do it in the exact way that it suits us but we also gain precious time when we’re not battling with others because we think it’s their job to help us with our feelings.
Take for example my need for reassurance from my partner that he’ll always be there. I’ve explained in other posts about how I have emotional scar around abandonment which regularly surfaces, when it does, my first instinct is to seek reassurance from my husband. Sometimes he’s open to it, sometimes he isn’t as we’re all in different emotional places at different times. And invariably it always leads to tension and arguments and the reason is because I’m looking in the wrong place.
Instead, I should look inwards and ask myself what do I need to do to feel better? Finding a quiet place with a good book is generally I good starting point for me. For someone else it may be going for a walk or a swim, someone else may enjoy painting. But just like a little child, when we feel overwhelmed sometimes all we need is to be taken aside and given a bit of time doing something we enjoy that can help us clear our minds.