Our comfort zones are pointing us to real freedom
3rd March 2022
Learn to love the edges of your comfort zone because they point your way to freedom
Michael Singer, the Untethered Soul
This quote, for me, really nails what the meaning of being on a spiritual journey is. It’s not about an ethereal wish, or believing in a supernatural god that will grant all your wishes. It’s getting down and dirty with the details of your daily life that keep you from reaching your highest potential.
Our comfort zones are so familiar to us that we rather stick with them when we know they don’t serve us well. We know they’re contrary to the life of peace, enthusiasm and joy we want to lead but we stick with them because they give us a false sense of security.
For me, like many others, the edges of my comfort zone, lie in the things I experienced and learned when I was young. The experiences that stuck with me, the bits that made me feel scared as well as the indoctrination that I received to have a life that looks a certain way.
To give you a specific example so you understand what I mean. I have this deep fear of being left by my husband, it runs so deep, that even though I know this is something that rears his ugly head on a regular basis, I fall for it every time. My mind will say things like: >he’s not being attentive enough, you should say something, you should try and get closer, check that everything is ok’ you get the gist. And as you can imagine, when I act on the back of a fearful thought it always backfires as the fear multiplies and creates and argument or more distance.
So the edges of my comfort zone in my romantic relationships, have to do with that old pattern of fear that I learned when my father left us. That fear, that although my husband is a solid person, something at some point will go wrong. So for me going over my comfort zone would mean to not listen to those calls for action that my old fears ignite, to ignore them as they’re old signals that don’t take me anywhere good anymore. But instead, act in a loving and compassionate way towards myself when I’m in those moments that I feel fear so that I can withstand the heat and tension without having to act on it.
What about you? Do you have any examples of what the edges of your comfort zone look like? Of how you could work in order to start to love them?