Letting the story I tell myself slip away
2nd February 2022
Every day life challenges me, it wants me to be wild and free. It calls me to be like I was when I was a kid. But then my programming kicks in. The pull is so strong. It wants me to comply, to do as I’m told and not to come out of my box.
I believe we all have these boundaries inside ourselves. Rules and regulations we have picked up in our formative years. We’re such good little soldiers. We like to follow rules. That’s what our whole education has been about. About becoming proficient at following rules. We’re absolutely petrified to fall out of line.
I’m in the process of breaking free from that person. The one that I’m supposed to be, or that I’ve believed most of my life, I should be. In my life, I can’t think of any more important work than this. To uncover my true essence, to unearth who I really am at any given moment. I do this by being present and fighting against the urges to cling to what seems to be hard reality.
The only thing that it’s essential to me at this point is to always remain aware of being conscious. To always understand that I’m not my thoughts and emotions, but rather the space that contains them. I want to be empty, so I can welcome the moment that is instead of trying to match it to who I think I am and what I feel I need. To not pay attention to this elemental truth it’s like to have passed through life without living but instead being like a dog chasing its tail all day, every day. Wake up.